Angry Santa to his son: Have you ever seen an owl?
Pappu: (Luking down) No...
Santa: Don't look down. Look at me.

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, ‘What are you in here for?’The second kid says, ‘I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.’The first kid says, ‘You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.’The second kid then asks, ‘What are you here for?’ The first kid says, ‘A circumcision.’The second kid replies, ‘Whoa, good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.


A man dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him and shows him three doors, and says, "You must spend the rest of eternity in one of these rooms behind these doors. The choice is yours."The man opens the first door, and sees a bunch of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor, looking very uncomfortable. He opens the second door, and sees a bunch of people standing on their heads on a concrete floor, looking even more uncomfortable. Finally, he opens the third door, and sees a bunch of people standing around chatting and drinking coffee, but upto their knees is shit. The man thinks for a while and says to himself, "that looks bad, but its better than the other two.""I'll take the third one," turning around and telling Satan. Satan smiles and shows him in. Ten minutes later, Satan walks back into the room and says, "Alright, coffee breaks over, everyone back on your heads!"

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your Daughter.

Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Weh RAM ke Mandir me gaya, Ram ne kaha
Baju wale Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usi ne dhundhi thi.

Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 & Now it is 6610"

Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College,
      Banta : Really, what is he studing, Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile, Police ko dene chale, Santa agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
      Banta : Jhooth bol denge 2 hi mile the...!!!




What's the difference between Poetry n Essay?
      Any Word uttered by a Girlfriend is Poetry while anything said by a Wife is an ESSAY!

Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you have broken.
      Lalu: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Banta: Give me a bag full of money, job and a vehicle full of girls
      God: So it be, my son and made him a bus conductor of ladies special bus!

A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!



Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
      Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.



Girl announced her engagement to her father.
      Father: Does this fellow has any money?
      Girl: U men r all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about u.

Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Loveletter to her, "
      I LOVE U SISTER."



Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
      gai...!!
Chinti Boli Waah Ri Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari umra kabra khodnemai bitegi..!!



LKG ke kid ka paper me 0 aya.

Father angry: What is this?

Kid: Papa, teacher ke pass STAR khatam ho gaye, to MOON de diya.



Film Director to Akshay Kumar: Tum ko 100 ft ki height se swimming pool me jump lagana hai.

Akshay Kumar: Par mere ko tairna nahi aata, mein doob jaunga.

Film Director: Don't worry, pool me paani nahi hai.