slapped the operator twice
A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ? ............... ...................... .................................... .................................................. ............ .................................................. ................ because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagao"
Tapsya
Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki. Shivji khush hue . .Prakat hue . Bole..puttar maang maang.. kya chahiye tujhey ! Bakth utha ... bola shivji mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do! Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai? Unhone kaha puttar tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai.kuch bada maang ! Wo fir bola nahi ji mujhey to aap guitar hi do ! Shivji ne phir samajhaya abey kuch dhang ka maang! Par wo to ada hi hua tha. bola, nahi aap to mujhey guitar hi do! Shivji uskey pao main gir gaye bole yaar tu kuch aur maang. guitar na maang ..Wo bola nai nai nai !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye. Ab Shivji gussey main aa gaye ..boley , abey agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata phirta ???
Ticket Checker VS Sadhu
Ticket Checker to Sadhu : "Baba kahan jaoge?" Sadhu : "Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha." TC: "Baba ticket dikhao.." Sadhu: "Nahin hai...." TC : "To phir chalo" Baba: "Kahan?" TC: "Jaha krishna ka janam hua tha."
Ullu
Boss(angry): tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai? servent (sar jhukate hue): nahi sir! boss:niche kya dekh raha hai? meri taraf dekh.
Valentine letter from Punjab
Dear meri dil ki katori, Main kya ji, it was band-baj-gaya mera ji ever since the time I put my eyes on you at Bunty's wedding. The parrots flew out of my hands, when u turned like a truck on a blind curve and smiled at me. Now I see your face everywhere, even in my chicken-curry. The butter chicken reminds me of your sweet voice. Main kya ji, would you be the butter on my naan and the chicken in my curry of life, this Valentine? Koi gal nahi, take your time but don't put the foot on the brakes of my love ji. What to do, I have started thinking about shadi-Vadi. Karao mat wait, say yes for a date! For you with heart beating first gear, Shunty.
Mr Elahi
Mr Elahi had 3 sons named rehmet-e-elahi, barkat-e-elahi, n mehbub-e-elahi when his 4th son was born his wife decided to name him bus-kar-e-elahi
Salman Khan is coming
Tihar Jail ordered 999 shirts and 1000 pants for its inmates. why this odd combination ? Salman khan is coming ...... aur maar lo hiran
Kyo ki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi
Ek Bahu puri raat paraye mard ke saath sokar aayi, saas ko pata chala, par kuch nahi boli!!! kyo??? kyoki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi :))
Lagta hai pahuch gayi
Koi Apni biwi Ka antim sanskar karke ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki badal garje jor se barish hui.. dukhi aadmi bola lagta hai pohonch gaieeeeee..
Defination of table tennis in hindi
kamre ke andar, table ke upar, batti ke niche. de tacatac... le tacatac... de tacatac...le taca tac..
Duniya Mita doonga
Angry sardar: Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga mita dunga mita dunga. Another sardar standing besides said: mein tujhe rubber hi nahi dunga.
Americanisms
Haven't you always wondered how "Americanisms" would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of New Delhi (or elsewhere)? Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo! What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai? You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho! Don't kid me! ----- * Mera bachcha mut banaao! Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai? Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi! Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee. Check this out, man! ----- * Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi! She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai! Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek? Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----- * Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai? Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain? Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka. And the best one is..... How do you do? ----- * Kaise karte ho? General Body Meeting.... ----- *Saamanya Shaaririk Milan
Ajit & robert in cricket match
Scene: Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 24 runs in 4 balls. Ajit: Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde Robert: Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message. Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six! Ajit: Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde Robert: Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message. Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six again. Now there are two balls and 12 runs. Ajit: Rabert ab Kapil se jaake kehna ek khatarnak out swinger daalde aur Imran ko catchout karde. Robert: Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message again. Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win. Robert: Boss ab Kapil se jaake kya kehna hai? Ajit: Ab Kapil se kuch mat kehna. Imran se jaake kehna ki uski maa aur beewi hamare kabje mein hai!
Baba Paise
Once a sadhu went to a prostitute and after completing, while leaving the prostitute asked 'baba, Paise.' He replied 'Hut Pagli tujhse paise thodi loonga.
Airtel VS Hutch
One day a dog was running behind a sardar.. But the sardar was laughing or he was very happy. One man asked why you are so happy? He said: Mere paas Airtel mobile hai. aur Hutch ka network mere picche daud raha hai..
Bipasha Basu
What did Bipasha Basu say when she got tired of sex? JOHN-AB-RAHAM kar
in a hospital
Dardi:Dr.Sahab Dr.Sahab mujhe sab do do dikhai de rahe hai Doctor (Gabhrakar): Isme char char jan kyu dode aa rahe ho
Madhuri Dance
Makaan Malik: 500 rupya kiraya hoga. Kirayedar: Teek hai. Magar apke makan me chuhey naach rahe hain. Makaan Malik: Abeyee tho kyaa 500 rupiye mein kya Madhuri nachegi?
