By far the most terrifying barrier to developing relationships with women is learning to talk with
them. Approaching an attractive stranger across the gulf of flickering candlelight at a party, or two
tables distant at a coffee house looms as formidably as scaling a sheer icy spire. Making the first
contact is as fearful as being born, yet as wondrous as emerging from a cave and seeing bright sunlight
for the first time.
Even thinking of approaching her makes you break out in a cold sweat. Muster up your courage, get
up from your chair, and propel yourself forward. Smile warmly, or shyly if you prefer, as you draw
near. If the woman desires your presence, she will return a smile. You will feel her warmth, though
you have yet to touch. Awareness of and sensitivity to subtle visual cues, discreet signals and body
language provide the clues that your attentions are welcome (if they are not, proceed no further). Rely
on your judgment and perceptions, as well as your intuition, to guide you in this crucial step. It
becomes easier with practice, as you gain experience and confidence, and learn to read people.
Everyone risks being laughed at when he approaches a woman. That is always at stake.
Take a chance... and if worse comes to worse, let yourself be laughed at.
Hermann Hesse, "Steppenwolf"
Act naturally. Using a "line" comes across as phony, nor is it a particularly effective tactic for shy
people in any case. So what to do for an opening gambit?
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"You have such beautiful blue eyes..."
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"You seemed so lonely, standing there by yourself..."
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"Those are very unusual earrings..."
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"What do you think of the weather lately..."
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"What's a nice woman like you doing in a place like..."
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"How about them Redskins..."
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All of the above chestnuts have been in use since "ancient times", and should be honorably retired.
A more straightforward conversation opener consists of simply introducing yourself. No tricks, fancy
footwork, or flimflam necessary. Look the lady in the eyes, smile, and plunge right in.
"These snacks taste a little stale, don't you think..."
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...a classic move - simple, but devastatingly effective.
"Hello, I'm John Smith."
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...taking care not to sound too stiffly formal.
"I'm Richard Jones. May I have the pleasure of your company?"
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...bowing, heel clicking, hand kissing optional.
"I'm delighted to make your acquaintance. Might I have the honor of introducing myself?"
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...quite Continental.
"Do forgive me. I'm not very good at this sort of thing. Please allow me to present myself."
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...double take.
"They call me Bill Green, but my name is really William Green."
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(There's something different about you, and I understand.)
...and sally forth from there.
"We are not like the others".
